As I sit here for a moment - while Luke is sleeping and in 30 minutes my senior girls are coming over - in between moments- I find that I wish I could share with you what living in Africa has done for our family! There are so many deep lessons that are taught when we get out of our comfort zone! I am reminded - it is about what God is doing in us! He stretches and shapes us to continually to make us more like Him. Some days it is utterly exhausting and other days it is deeply amazing to see the areas where we learning and growing! So while my moment is slipping away - my lesson learned is this-
The grass is not greener on the other side. Tina just recently came back for a 3-week visit to renew her visa. She was craving home. She was craving her Malawian culture and all that is included with that. She needed her food, family, and friends. She came here excited and so glad to be back. But as the weeks continued she quickly realized that it is not what she had imagined. It wasn't bad - it was just different. Her perspective had changed, as does anyone who lives outside his or her home country. She realized, that now she needs to call home and plug in, wherever she may be in the world. Not to think - if I was here or there -I would be happier - But I will be happy where I am.
My moment of clarity came when I was back in the states- sitting on my front porch and after having an amazing Dr Pepper Big Gulp. (I can just taste it) I had everything I thought that would make me happy. Cozy food, cozy family, cozy house and cozy friends. But I was sooooo crabby for no reason. Unthankful and crabby! I was talking with Bob about it and realized it's not Africa that makes life hard sometimes (this is was about a month after coming back from Malawi). It's not the things that I don't have while I am in Africa or when things get uncomfortable. It is just me! Me! I am stuck with my responses and me. So when I find myself getting crabby these days- I am choosing to find things to be grateful for. It changes my perspective. It makes me realize that I am wasting my precious energy on my yuck and my bad attitude. I can tell you that it is not always this easy to do. But that is what I am doing to grow and change! Keeping things in perspective. The grass is not greener on the other side! I just need to fertilize the grass I have been given!